Pride and No Prejudice

Stereotypically,

  • a straight / heterosexual man is a human being who is biologically male and feels attracted, both romantically and sexually, to one who is biologically female exclusively;
  • a gay / homosexual man is one who is biologically male and feels attracted, both romantically and sexually, to one who is also biologically male exclusively;
  • a bisexual man is one who is biologically male and feels attracted, both romantically and sexually, to one who is either biologically female or biologically male.

I, however, am not in line with any of these “definitions”, or rather, sentiments on sexual identities because

  • I am biologically, psychologically, and socially male;
  • I feel romantically attracted to nobody;
  • I feel sexually attracted to one who is either biologically female or biologically male;
  • I have been exclusively attracted to cisgender lives since 27;
  • I am capable of feeling and experiencing love of all kinds (like that between family members, friends, etc.).

In the light of these facts,

  • if you happened to see me dating a girl and thought I was straight, then you were wrong;
  • if you happened to see me dating a boy and thought I was gay, then you were wrong again;
  • if you happened to know that I dated both sexes and thus thought I was bisexual, then you were just partially wrong.

Now, you should know that I am technically aromantic bisexual. While I have always been very forthcoming about my specificity, it is NOT wise to identify it with apathy, satyriasis, or priapism.

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If interested, you are welcome to read these articles:

🌈HamiltonPride2018

Hey, This is the Disclaimer.

My site doesn’t promise to provide a hothouse for your bright kids. Neither does the entire Internet. Nor does every tiny part of the world. Let our sanity work. It’s 2018.

If you believe your kids are to stray from the right track by browsing my site, just ask yourselves what the right track is in your pretty sacrosanct minds.

Apple Music provides albums whose covers are not subject to our aesthetic standards. I didn’t make them, and I don’t think sharing them is any close to indecency. Quite the contrary, I reckon them funny and it’s part of the culture I grew up in.

Listen. I embrace the Open Web. Yes, open is the word. If you need a website peppered with censored fairytales, bubblegum stuff, and teenage clichés, which this site hasn’t been made for, build one on your own or read what the Chinese government encourages your kids to. Now. Don’t waste this moment. Don’t presume to issue an order in my own house just because of your kids’ sporadic visits. Mind you, I’ve been running my site for 12 years. It might be as old as are your kids. A good understanding of etiquette does benefit every kid and every adult.

Requesting the webmaster of a personal website to offer content tailored to your interest is even funnier than teaching a pig to play on a flute. If some guy sent your kids a Wikipedia link to Prince Albert, a city situated in Saskatchewan, Canada, and your lovely kids stumbled upon the Prince Albert, a sort of piercing you wouldn’t want me to describe, would it be wise to ask Wikipedia to split that content off from its site? Let’s use our gray matter. 🙂

Hey kids, take my advice. Don’t search Wikipedia for the Prince Albert! It’s an evil website your moms are eager to purify before you take a peep!

Good pre-conception health is the holy grail for all expectant fathers. I suggest the following supplements if you are one of them. Of course, if you are not planning for pregnancy, this combination is still worth trying out.

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1. Lecithin (1,200 mg strength): once (1,200 mg) or twice (2,400 mg) a day;
2. Wheat Germ Oil (1,130 mg strength): once (1,130 mg) or twice (2,260 mg) a day;
3. Zinc (50 mg strength): once (50 mg) a day;
4. Pygeum (100 mg strength): once (100 mg) or twice (200 mg) a day;
5. Folic Acid (1,000 mcg strength): once (1,000 mcg) a day.

Additionally,

5.5 Try L-Arginine and maca to further boost reproductive health;
6. Take other vitamins and minerals, particularly B vitamins, vitamin E, vitamin C, and calcium;
7. Stop tobacco and alcohol consumption;
8. Frequent a fitness club regularly;
9. Get enough sleep;
10. DRINK MORE WATER!!!

Disclaimer: I’m not giving any medical advice nor prescribing medicine for you as a physician. You should always consult your doctor before trying any of these recommendations.

I Hope This Email Finds You Well

A student of mine once asked about this email opening sentence. She didn’t know how an email, as an inanimate object, would literally FIND the recipient. Yesterday, I came across the same question again on Zhihu, a popular Chinese Q&A site paralleled by Quora.

It should be noted that the word “well” here is not an adverb but an adjective, which describes a state of good physical health or satisfaction.

— How is your sister?
— She’s very well. Thank you.

Also, the verb “to find” does not mean “to obtain”. Instead, it means “to experience” or “to look at”.

My sister quit the job because she found it much too demanding. (= She regarded the job as extremely onerous.)

Therefore, such parlance as “this email finds you well” actually employs the tool of personification: when this email gets to you, I hope that it (on my own behalf) witnesses the fact that you are sound in both body and mind.

In English, “you” can be one person or a group of people. In light of this, 「展信佳」(to a singular recipient) and「闊府康泰」(to an extended family, usually of high social standing) might be qualified Chinese equivalents.

With the above being said, I won’t expect anyone to use it, for it sounds a bit old-fashioned and hackneyed to me. In this Digital and Information Age, we’re suffering infobesity to a great extent. When trying to reach someone, always bear in mind that brevity is a virtue. Instead of being annoyingly wordy, simply use I hope you’re well, which should sound much better.

5 Days with Micro.blog

Well, sorry but I have to say bye to micro.blog at the moment, though I still think it’s an amazing service. The founder Mr. Manton Reece seems too busy to care about my concerns (except for enabling SSL for me and having some convos in Micro.blog’s timeline), but I’ve tried the ins and outs for almost five days to see if it was within my comfort zone. There’s the good and the bad, but it’s still improving. A lot of new features are going on, while Mr. Reece is on the go perfecting another project Sunlit 2.0.

Micro.blog public timeline

(Micro.blog’s public timeline)

Micro.blog is not only a service but a platform. Different from those on Twitter or Facebook, social protocols there are quite interesting. Say, you never know who’s following you, and what you see there is geek talks and real cool people. That’s understandable because people outside the realm of microblogging are normally less likely to run a self-hosted microblog, even not likely to own an independent blog. Birds of a feather flock together.

(7-day trial is almost over)

While I am not going to upgrade to the $5/mo plan, I’m still a fan of it. I benefit from its design and the philosophy behind that way: minimalism and simplicity. They’re not going to change as time elapses. Inspired by this philosophy, I finished redesigning my own website in three days. Based on WordPress, it has been tailored to my specific needs. I wanted it to be a one-man Twitter without typical social features: like, share, and retweet. All I need is a simple log of my life and thoughts.

(Click here to see the pricing of Micro.blog’s services)

I do have my concerns. For example, I spend half of a year in China and my social contacts are largely based in China. If their paid service should be blocked by the Great Firewall, that would be a sad story. Wix.com has not even come up with an effective solution to this, only to notify users in China that they may not provide services in full. I guess Mr. Reece would have to ponder over such issues if Micro.blog saw a quick surge in its popularity.

Still, I feel concerned with seeing the progress of Micro.blog and other products from Mr. Manton Reece and his team. And I won’t rule out the likelihood of returning to Micro.blog some day for some reason.

Welcome Home

☝ Video: HomePod — Welcome Home”

Reasons that I love this video (written and directed by Spike Jonze) are simple yet complicated. No question that it’s both visually and aurally pleasing, not to be deemed an ordinary commercial where an actress is paid to pose and move in a cheap, coquettish way or to simply convey the trope of youth/vigor by being hyperactive.

FKA twigs’s dance movements, cadence variations and facial expressions are subtly intertwined with the tune, titled ‘Til It’s Over, a 2018 single by Anderson .Paak, and the lighting effects, so that the female protagonist’s specific state of mind is clearly and artfully communicated.

The most sophisticated part of the performance is the dual-role dancing. Why? The two roles are dressed the same way and appear in the same frame. However, they need to engage in intimate interaction and conduct improvisation respectively while presenting nuances of emotions. Though their looks are identical, the differences of their dispositions are so evident that you can easily notice that in the end, the girl in the mirror (pepped up by the track streamed via the HomePod), instead of the girl in real life, lies in the couch, puffing and delighted. There is a positive metaphor intended.

Also, this video is technically exciting, for what you see is not a CGI scene but an authentic one. Apple has blown audience’s minds again with its tasteful method of artmaking.

How Does it Feel to be Aromantic?

Carnal desires are irrefutably human. An aromantic individual is not necessarily being asexual, and vice versa.

(aromantic flag)

I used to be demiromantic (toward heteroromantic) before the end of my sophomore year at college, and turned aromantic after a dramatic and traumatic breakup with an ex-girlfriend.

Being aromantic is no pride nor abashment. It’s a normal state of human mind. Being a perceptibly rare species is cool, and I’m going to reveal how I feel as an aromantic bisexual male.

  1. At each romantic moment, there seem to be some cameras on the spot as if I was shooting a bubblegum pop music video. I try to cater to my partner’s every need while I clearly know what I’m doing and stay horribly calm inside;
  2. There are moments I cuddle and caress my partner — just imagine the way you rub your love into your pets;
  3. Often blamed for “not being passionate or amorous”;
  4. Solitude is the best solution to stress of any kind;
  5. Clarity galore before, during, and after sex;
  6. You may think that sex could be the only way to channel romance into each other, but in fact sex has nothing to do with romance. That is, sex doesn’t necessarily trigger affections, and doesn’t necessarily happen when affections arise.

Being aromantic is NOT painful at all only if your partner FULLY understands your situation.

My Mating Preferences

I’m about to repost this for future reference, not for real mating.

Choose by intuition:

Q1: Your gender?
Male ➜ Q4
Female ➜ Q2
It’s complicated ➜ [Durian]

Q2: Were you born EARLIER than March 22, 1986?
Yes ➜ [Apple]
No (even on that day) ➜ Q3

Q3: Your physique?
Tiny ➜ Q5
Ordinary ➜ Q5
Fit ➜ [Apple]
Curvy but not shapely ➜ [Apple]
Enormous ➜ [Durian]

Q4: Do we look alike (in reference to the BBB dogma)?
More than 95% (We’re both Bulky, Bearded, and Butch!) ➜ Q5
About 90% (less bulky, for example) ➜ Q5
About 80% (less facial hair, for example) ➜ Q5
About 70% (bearing even less resemblance) ➜ [Apple]
Just around 60% (not very butch, for example) ➜ [Durian]
We look like Tom and Jerry ➜ [Durian]

Q5: Are you a virgin now in ANY way?
Yes ➜ [Cherry]
No ➜ Q6

Q6: Have you made out ONLY with same-sex partners?
Yes, I’m gaily homosexual basking in rainbows ➜ [Durian]
Yes, but I’m also curious to date the opposite sex ➜ [Durian]
You know, I’m in sham marriage ➜ [Durian]
No, but I’ve almost lost interest in the opposite sex ➜ [Durian]
No, I can still make out with the opposite sex though reluctant to ➜ [Apple]
No, I’ve been literally straight so far ➜ [Cherry]
No, I go both ways at will ➜ [Cherry]

 

Results:

➜ [Cherry] = Let’s have a shot! (You have to answer the extra questions shown below, though)
➜ [Apple] = We can be friends, and progress may (not) occur.
➜ [Durian] = Let’s just stay where we are.

 

Extra questions for [Cherry] :

1: Do you enjoy Jazz?
2: Do you enjoy live shows (live music, drama, operas, etc)?
3: Are you financially independent enough to live your life the way you wish to?
4: Do you like traveling a lot or staying in?
5: How much do you weigh social networking?
6: Do you think it acceptable for one to keep in contact with any of one’s exes?
7: How much do you love reading, television, and movies?
8: When your partner has changed in some way, do you think it’s important to stick to commitment?
9: How often do you smoke, drink, or go clubbing?
10: Are you quiet or talkative?
11: Are you laid-back or bossy?
12: Do you mind renting a dwelling place instead of buying one?
13: How much do you value personal hygiene?
14: How much do you enjoy video games / mobile games?
15: How do you view gambling, card games and the like?
16: Would you choose to stay away from those who might affect your relationship with a significant other?
17: How well do you educate yourself in terms of something beyond your knowledge?
18: How much effort would you like to put into acquiring knowledge about security and maintaining health?
19: If you got $100,000,000 by winning a lottery, what decisions would you make?
20: Are you particular about trifles that many people believe are not worth noting at all?