This is a Gift, Belated yet Timely

"This is a Gift, Belated yet Timely"

Next Monday, two best friends of mine — a blissful couple as well as first-time parents-to-be — will celebrate the birthday they share with one another. I usually gift things very carefully, and this time I’m going to remain pragmatic. After much deliberation, it occurred to me that I should buy them something to celebrate their forthcoming parenthood: a superb diaper bag.
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I am a Program (poem)

"I am a Program (poem)"

I am a program
Binary and well composed.
Lodging in your meager memory
I keep my body closed.
When you require me
I run right away.
When you remove me
I run downright away.
But either way
I keep my core updated
Unlike chauvinists and you
Who’ve had the thick skulls raided.
I am a program
So neat and well maintained
That I should never fit into
An environment nonsense has reigned.


Dear Moms and Dads …

"Dear Moms and Dads …"

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Here is my reply to a TOEFL test taker’s feedback shortly after she finished the test. She said the writing topic was about “a teacher’s methods when students get bored”. It sounded a bit strange because TOEFL writing prompts would hardly bring up “students’ boredom”. Despite this oddity, I told her that her response would be more likely to hit the spot because she tended to be more familiar with school things than sophisticated issues like governmental strategies or corporate ethics. Yet today, her mother interpreted my reply as praise, going nuts on seeing her daughter score only 22/30 in the writing section. Eh, what’s wrong?

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