A few of my friends know pretty well who and what I am, but most of them don’t. Am I gay or straight? This is not an embarrassing question at all. What embarrasses me is people’s villainous, toxic attitudes.
- a straight / heterosexual man is a human being who is biologically male and feels attracted, both romantically and sexually, to one who is biologically female exclusively;
- a gay / homosexual man is one who is biologically male and feels attracted, both romantically and sexually, to one who is also biologically male exclusively;
- a bisexual man is one who is biologically male and feels attracted, both romantically and sexually, to one who is either biologically female or biologically male.
I, however, am not in line with any of these “definitions,” or rather sentiments, on sexual identities because
- I am biologically, psychologically, and socially male;
- I feel romantically attracted to nobody;
- I feel sexually attracted to one who is either biologically female or biologically male;
- I have been exclusively attracted to cisgender lives since 27;
- I am capable of feeling and experiencing love of all kinds (like that between family members, friends, etc.).
In the light of these facts,
- if you happened to see me dating a girl and thought I was straight, then you were wrong;
- if you happened to see me dating a boy and thought I was gay, then you were wrong again;
- if you happened to know that I dated both sexes and thus thought I was bisexual, then you were just partially wrong.
Now, you should know that I am technically a aromantic bisexual cisgender male – that is, a man whose birth sex is male, who identifies himself as male, who is able to have sex with both men and women (surely, not all of them), and who is unable to establish a romantic relationship with anyone. While I have always been very open about my sexuality, it is NOT wise to identify it with apathy, satyriasis, or priapism.
So probably our conversation will be like:
— Are you straight?
— Well, not perfectly straight. Look! That man’s beard is hot.
— Are you gay?
— Well, not perfectly gay. You know, I don’t like French kissing men very much. By the way, I’m into p***ies, too, just like your uncle.
And most of the time, I refer to myself as a complex number, which is aromantic + bisexual.
If interested, you are welcome to read these articles: